Well. She supposed that it was a good thing, that he hadn't had cause to wonder as a child. He had been happy. That was something to remember when her failure as a mother yawned before her like an ever-growing chasm.
She shut her eyes.
Indeed, perhaps that had been something her body had been trying to tell her. How many times had she failed to give her child life, or life sustainable? What had made her think that she could take in such a needy baby? That her love would be enough? That she would be able to raise him up in the way he should go and he would be happy and healthy and able to care for others, serve his family and his people? Know that he is loved?
Frigga tried to calm herself. She knew this topic upset her. She had to beware of her own mind when it came to speaking of this. Calm. She must be calm, she must be clear - this was for Loki.
She opened her eyes. She would state things plainly. If concealing things from Loki had harmed him, then he would hear the truth now. "I tried many times to conceive. Several times I managed to carry the baby to term. Each died, frail and sick, before a fortnight had passed. If Thor had not been all that he is, as strong as he is, then Odin would have been forced to set me aside. It was a - difficult birth. After which, Odin refused to let me try again. It was the one request he entirely refused me, and he would not hear it spoken again."
He did not want to risk losing her again. Frigga swallowed and continued, "When he saw you, discarded for the same reasons our children had died but still fighting to live, still strong enough and so very alive, I do not believe he could have passed you by for all the realms. He brought you into our family and gave me another child to love, and I have ever been glad of it."
no subject
She shut her eyes.
Indeed, perhaps that had been something her body had been trying to tell her. How many times had she failed to give her child life, or life sustainable? What had made her think that she could take in such a needy baby? That her love would be enough? That she would be able to raise him up in the way he should go and he would be happy and healthy and able to care for others, serve his family and his people? Know that he is loved?
Frigga tried to calm herself. She knew this topic upset her. She had to beware of her own mind when it came to speaking of this. Calm. She must be calm, she must be clear - this was for Loki.
She opened her eyes. She would state things plainly. If concealing things from Loki had harmed him, then he would hear the truth now. "I tried many times to conceive. Several times I managed to carry the baby to term. Each died, frail and sick, before a fortnight had passed. If Thor had not been all that he is, as strong as he is, then Odin would have been forced to set me aside. It was a - difficult birth. After which, Odin refused to let me try again. It was the one request he entirely refused me, and he would not hear it spoken again."
He did not want to risk losing her again. Frigga swallowed and continued, "When he saw you, discarded for the same reasons our children had died but still fighting to live, still strong enough and so very alive, I do not believe he could have passed you by for all the realms. He brought you into our family and gave me another child to love, and I have ever been glad of it."